Written By: Noelle Fontes (@uptownmom_dallas)
No one knew? Yes that’s right! We went to the hospital, stayed for almost 24hrs and delivered our baby completely under the radar. Why would we do this?
I am often asked about my birth story from soon-to-be mommies and repeatedly get a response of shock when telling it. I thought this would be an appropriate place to share my experience for those exploring their options.
HOW IT ALL STARTED:
I suggested to my husband a little over half way through my pregnancy that I was hesitant about all of the outside involvement from family up on delivering our first child.
First of all, I should preface with the fact that this was the first grandchild on either side and our families although completely thrilled were getting invasive (as most families do). I should also tell you that I HATE other people’s opinions, I HATE THEM! I also tend to get anxiety and easily irritated, especially being pregnant…. I just sound like a great big ball of fun at this point, I know.
I have seen many of my friends have babies, watched movies, TV shows and read many articles on the subject. I expressed to my husband that when it was time to have the baby I didn’t want to tell anyone, I wanted it to be just the two (almost 3) of us. As you can imagine, he did not take this well and many arguments ensued when it came up.
We decided to ask my OB his thoughts on the matter during our next appointment. To both of our surprise, he fully supported this decision. He actually recommended it based on all of his experience in delivery room. He validated my feelings that I should be in the most stress free environment possible, it is what’s best for the baby.
He did however suggest that we let our families know ahead of time that we would be doing it this way. We agreed that it was a good compromise. We left the doctor reassured and confident in our decision.
We told both of our families the next time we saw them, which was about 2 -3 months out from our delivery date. We expressed how important it was do this our way.
This is the most precious moment we will have as a new family and we will never get that time back. It was important to connect with our baby and each other as new parents.
Up on telling the fam our plan we received some mixed emotions about it, but when we explained that it was doctor recommended they were good sports about it.
THE BIG DAY:
When the day finally arrived (2 1/2 weeks early) we followed through. I was scared, nervous, excited and had no idea how the process would go. Daniel my husband came straight from work and met me at the hospital, I had packed his bags for him…. you’re welcome!
We were in labor for about 16 hours. Even though I opted out of the epidural for most of it and was in much pain and discomfort, I actually have good memories from that time.
Daniel and I were so excited and it felt so special to have this one thing just for us. We felt like we were getting ready to unveil the biggest surprise and we couldn’t wait! Because no one had a clue what we were up to, we weren’t getting swarmed with calls and texts wanting updates.
We disconnected ourselves from everything and it was extremely calming, relaxing and stress free. My husband was 100% focused on me and what I needed. I have never felt closer and more in synch with him and the birth went perfectly.
After the whirlwind of delivering and being handed my new baby which was an overwhelming sense of crazy emotions, we were seen by several nurses and hospital staff with an abundance of information… excuse me, I just had a freaking baby, can you chill for a sec?!!!Geez!
I cant imagine the added stress of having even more people in that room asking questions… no thank you!
After all the medical craziness settled down we took in the moment, took our time, and took a breath. We allowed ourselves to be as selfish with our time as we wanted, rightfully so. If you are ever going to be selfish, this is your day!
Once we felt comfortable we sent a photo of our new addition to both families at the same time. We politely asked them not to post anything on social media and keep it to themselves for now. We welcomed them to the hospital that evening for a visit, they were absolutely elated. We spent our first night in this world together just the three of us!
2 days later, which happened to be Father’s Day we finally posted a photo and announced our new arrival. We waited until the moment felt right. The great thing about social media, or photo text messaging, email…etc is that people get to see your little bundle of joy, but still keep a distance.
The truth is, having a baby is very stressful physically and emotionally and you don’t necessarily want visitors all the time but you want to share with your loved ones and friends.
Remember, this is your most precious time and you are allowed to do whatever is best for you and your family. The most important thing you can do in your delivery process and newborn stage is keep your stress level down which is important when it comes to breastfeeding as well!
If you are a soon-to-be mom I strongly urge you to take this method into consideration. I am so happy with the way everything played out and would do it all over again!